"You know what they call fake spaghetti?" he asked the waitress. He told me enough of his story in the checkout line to make me want to hear more, so we met for lunch. Kanner, 68, coaches junior varsity lacrosse and football at Walled Lake Western High and works part-time as a supermarket cashier. "What do you call an Easter Bunny that has fleas? "I do have an Easter Bunny joke," he said helpfully.
Remarkably, he does not have any dog jokes in his repertoire. Nevin Kanner owns a standard poodle named Einstein and had another named Rigby until illness claimed her last week, bless her heart. His proud and thirsty owner was named Mike Duggan (who's since been promoted). Smokey would tug the door open with a rope, wrap his gaping maw around a can of Stroh's, trot it out to the living room, and then go back and shut the door. Among the respondents was a young Wayne County assistant prosecutor who had trained his black Labrador retriever to fetch beers from the refrigerator. Katrina, not surprisingly, would respond with variations of "Meow."įame never quite arrived for either of them, but they gave me a chance to ask readers for their own tales of amazing pets. Lokey would prompt her with phrases and short sentences - "Say, 'I looove you!'" - and then squeeze Katrina's tiny feline rump in durations tied to the length and inflection of each word. There, Katrina would rest patiently against Lokey's ample left arm and shoulder, with her hips in Lokey's right palm. I went to see them in an apartment decorated with vases of plastic flowers. She called our features department every few days for two months, informing us that she had a little gray-and-white cat named Katrina who was bound for renown and riches. If you find yourself amused, appalled or applauding something I should be tuned in to, you can reach me at and please don't be shy. So what sort of response was the lab expecting? "Smooth plastic! No sharp edges! Five stars!"īut I can only be in so many basements. The entire encounter consisted of waiting 20 minutes in an office building basement in Farmington Hills to fill a specimen cup. The next day, the lab emailed him a customer satisfaction survey. One example: a guy I know had to pass a drug test to qualify for his new job. But in general, I'm just Switzerland in thick glasses, a perpetually curious observer of life's triumphs and peculiarities. The word is "pop," not soda, and it is always appropriate to root against the Yankees. Mitch Albom: The Elon Musk-Twitter buyout story, one tweet at a time I use -ganders and -ganians interchangeably, and I am grateful not to be from Connecticut, where I would have to identify myself as a Nutmegger. We live in a marvelous and periodically maddening place where, in a world afire, two of the enduring controversies involve whose chili dog is best and whether we should call ourselves Michiganders or Michiganians.įor the record, I like both American and Lafayette.
A fair number will be funny, because that's also how life is. Here, I'll be telling stories - occasionally mine, mostly yours.Ī few will be tragic, because that's how life is sometimes. We have other, smarter people to do that, and the world usually doesn't listen anyway.
#BUGS BUNNY POP IT HOW TO#
Stranger than fiction, twice a weekįirst, let's discuss what I'll be doing in your newspaper and at on Thursdays and Sundays, which can also be defined by what I largely won't be doing: telling the world how to run itself. I also find myself thinking of a southwest Detroiter named Rose Lokey I interviewed because she was convinced her cat could talk. One of those places was the rear seat of a Mustang that his buddy wrecked 50 years ago, propelling young Nevin through the windshield. Nevin Kanner of West Bloomfield, for instance, who knows more atrocious jokes than all the drunk uncles at Thanksgiving combined, says that virtually every good thing in his life has come from stumbling into the right place at the right time. But I'm back at the Free Press - Hi! - and I remain convinced: I was saying it here 22 years ago, right before I was spirited away by another large Detroit newspaper.
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